Hearts and Waterfalls

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Now playing: Thomas Newman - Brooks Was Here
via FoxyTunes At roughly 3:00 in the morning on Saturday June 14 I was abruptly awoken when my mom came bursting into my room. "I think dad's having a heart attack." I didn't stop to think. I threw the covers off my bed and stumbled out of my room and sprinted up the stairs to see my dad with his hand clutching his chest leaning against the wall. Soon he was sitting on the edge of the piano bench bent over in pain. I couldn't believe this was happening. It seemed like hours passed as we waited for the paramedics to get there and by that time my dads whole left arm was numb and the pain in his chest was getting worse. As my mom left for the hospital she told me to call all my siblings. As I did this the reality of the whole situation set in. After what felt like an eternity my mom called an said that Mark and John had arrived and given my dad a blessing and that he was stable for the time being and that I should try and get some sleep. As I lay in my bed sleep quickly overtook me. A few hours later I woke up to find out that my dad was doing quite well. None the less, when I first saw him laying in a hospital bed it was a little unnerving. However, he was happy and chipper as normal even if slightly worn out. Over the next forty-eight hours I had to decide whether or not to go to Havasupai. By Saturday night I had decided not to go. Sunday came and I was once again torn. I spent most the day flip-flopping between going and not. In the end I decided to go and I am very happy I did.

PDA they always show.Havasupai proved to be one of the most beautiful places I've ever been to or seen. There was another twelve hour bus ride followed by a ten mile hike in to the falls. Words can't describe the beauty and pictures can't do justice but I'll to my best. The water was the most amazing aqua blue and the fact that you were allowed to swim in it made everything that much better. It seems like the general public isn't allowed to really get close to places like this. I'm amazing at the condition the grounds are in with how many people are there. The three days we spent there were spent hiking to different falls, relaxing, and spelunking. As amazing as it was there were a few parts I didn't like so much. Namely the drama that seems to follow us everywhere we go. Taylor and Rosie were a bit annoying because they broke up then immediately after got back together, not to mention all the That wasn't the worst part for me though. Victoria was the main reason I didn't have as much fun as I could have. I noticed that she was talking and flirting with me a lot more than usual. I felt the feelings I had for her begin to resurface. I had no clue why she was doing this. I finally got up the courage to talk to her I just needed to find the right time. The second night she wanted to go out with me to look at the stars. I found this a little odd but I took the opportunity. As we began talking I brought up the email I sent her and I asked if she'd gotten it and why she hadn't responded yet. I found out that she had responded and that the email had somehow not made it to my inbox. I couldn't wait to get answers so I just asked her what was going on. I asked her if she had any feelings for me still and I wasn't prepared for the answer I got. For the past eight months I've been harboring this hope that she might still like me and that something might happen to rekindle those feelings. When she said that she didn't I was stunned for a second. Everything I had hoped for fell away. I was left with the most empty, hollow, almost dead feeling in my gut. I did my best to mask my feelings and continue on with our conversation. It was just so hard. Luckily we made our way back to camp soon after that. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out what I was feeling and what I was going to do. After a day or so of contemplation and a lot of beautiful distractions (waterfalls and the such) I figured that it was the best thing that could have happened. At this point I'm very happy about it all. Its almost like I'm free from a load I've been hauling around for too long. I think now that I know she doesn't have feelings for me any more I'll be able to move on a little better. It's hard but worth it. I hope that now I can really focus on rebuilding my testimony/strengthening it. I'm hoping that life will go a little better now!

Days of Graduation

So the past few days have really been busy for me. The weekend consisted of Senior Prom and getting ready for it. To tell the truth I don't remember exactly what I did on Friday but Saturday was the dance. I had to wake up at 5:00 am in order to pick up my date, Brady, and his date and still make it up to Park City on time. (6:30) The ride up was pretty fun, it was spent following John up the canyon. He's a pretty crazy driver at times so it made things pretty fun. Once we finally did get up there we drove out to the field and after waiting for a while we found out that we couldn't even go up because the air was to unstable. So that was a pretty big bummer. Pretty much we woke up super early just to go to breakfast. So following that I dropped everyone off and headed home to the welcoming comfort of my bed for a nice nap. When I woke up I headed down to get my vest after which I helped Kate and Jeff with their house. When I got the door to pick up Shelbie I was greeted by her mother (love the woman!) and when I stepped inside there she was. Absolutely gorgeous!! I felt very luck to have her as my date. So we then proceeded to dinner at the Market Street Grill which proved to be pretty fun. I didn't talk to Shelbie a whole lot. She seemed a lot more interested in Alec and other guys. By this point I had realized that this wasn't going to be the date/dance I had previously envisioned. This being so, I put on a happy face and kept on going. The dance was really cool. I never would have thought I would be dancing in the State Capitol but it happened. I had originally really wanted to go paintballing for that after activity but I got the feeling Shelbie really didn't so I made the choice not to go and instead we went back to John's for a movie. It was awkward to say the least. Everyone but me and Shelbie were getting pretty friendly cause for the most part they were all dating. Everyone except Kevin and Suzanne. Anyway, it just wasn't very fun over all. I tried to make it a good experience for Shelbie even if I didn't have all that much fun. Anyway, I'm very glad it's over.
So Sunday was a pretty normal day at church....well I guess not really. I got my Duty to God award so that was fun. It comes with an awesome metal coin. As my dad pointed out at every opportunity, it's got some heft to it. After church I got ready for my Eagle court of honor. That proved to be way fun. Dave had his old scout shirt on for the eagle's nest. This proved quite comical due to the fact that Dave no longer fit into his shirt...So after that it was off to the Seniors Fireside at the Stake Presidents house. It was really fun to be with all the people in my stake but it wasn't quite what I had expected. It was good though.

So I'm finishing this entry a few days later I as a result of that I've forgotten some stuff about what I did. This also means it's probably not very important or interesting so I'm going to jump straight to my graduation. So the morning of we had a practice where they just talked us through everything and read through all the names. VERY boring. So after that, I spent the hours leading up to the graduation not really doing a whole lot. I watched some Stargate (which I'm pretty much obsessed with right now just fyi) and...thats about it. So once it came time, Samir picked me up and we headed down. To tell you the truth, the whole thing was rather boring. Nothing really sticks out other than the fact that, as many of the guys pointed out, all the girls looked quite good in white. Anyway, after the ceremony I took pictures with family and friends and headed home to get ready for Classic Skating. The bus ride there was pretty fun. Ali, Rosie and I played the zoom game for a while and just talked. I had a party that Classic as well. The roller blading itself proved to be the least fun activity. Quickwits was there and they were, as usual, hilarious. All the blowup stuff was really fun to play on as well. The whole night was just one big party, hence, it was my graduation party. After all this I decided to come home and go to bed rather than stay up any later and I'm quite happy I did. The next/last few days have been spent just relaxing on my own and going in to work. I finished watching season eight of Stargate today so that will free up some time for me because I don't know how I'm going to get the next few seasons now. Hopefully Micky will hook me up. I've also been prepping for Havasupi. I really hope I get everything packed that I need.