Pictures and Dreams

I have spent today working and sitting here staring at this computer screen. It all started off when my dad woke me up to let me know we were leaving to go to Eggs in the City for breakfast. I was driving us down cause I had to leave early but when we got to my car....it was all wet. I had left the windows down and the sprinklers went off and soaked the inside of my car. Luckily it's been pretty hot so I just left the windows down at work and everything dried off nicely. At work today we had an entombment and we had to dig another hole. Nothing to excited cept a huge branch fell off a tree and so we spent a few hours cutting that up and making sure all the dead branches were down. Once home, I showered and headed over to the Hydes to take in their paper and mail. This time over I brought my little digital point and shoot. I never realized how beautiful that yard was until I went back there with a photography mindset...if that makes sense. I just wish I had a better camera that could really capture everything; all the colors and the real depth. Oh well, I'll just have to to wait till I can afford a camera that can do that.
These past few hours have been pretty strange for some reason. I've been going through all my music and getting rid of the stuff I never listen to. I've found quite a few songs that I didn't know I had; songs from earlier in my childhood. I never thought I'd hear them again and then there they were! I also cleaned up the memory card on my phone. When I pulled up the window to check out what was on there I was surprised to find two image folders. When I opened the first one I found some of the pictures from my old phone that I'd hidden for fairly obvious reasons. They were all of me and Victoria. I was shocked to find that although I was hit with a slight pang of loss, there was nothing more than that.
Last night I had a crazy dream...it was the first day of school. I was walking back into good old East High but I wasn't a student anymore. I was off to find Frank to talk to him about some photo stuff but I got pulled aside by Story and then all of a sudden I was a student and once again I was off to Franks. He told me that I couldn't get any supplies from him cause I wasn't a student. It kept switching between me being a student and not. Pretty crazy. Not to mention that the building I was in was NOT the real school. It was so weird.
Alex's last post really hit me. I don't think I could put it much better than she did. Ever since I got home from work today I've been feeling really off. Nothing has felt quite right. It was almost like I was watching someone else living my life while I was off somewhere else fighting to gain control. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. The pictures of Victoria and myself we a clue that I didn't quite pick up on. After reading Alex's post I realized what's going on. Quite simply, I'm lonely. I miss having someone who is always there to talk to. Someone who wants to hang out with me all the time, someone I know will support me through the hardest times in my life. Someone who can cheer me up with nothing more than just a smile. Why is life so hard sometimes?